Death

 Cemetery in the sad village

Not a fun topic, but, of course, the customs and rituals involved in dealing with death vary from culture to culture and are really quite interesting. And, since we are experiencing a double whammy of that right now, it is on my mind.

My first experience with death here occurred in March. If you attended my presentation either to Cindy's Bible Study or to University COC, you may recall me talking about two different ladies that passed away. The first was not a Christian, but she came to the Clinic, so when she died, her family went to get Karen the nurse. She, in turn, called Hammer, and the two of them spent a couple of hours observing the rituals that the family went through. That is when Karen and I learned that the lady would have to be buried in a special section of the cemetery because her death was from cancer and not due to natural causes. 

The next day a church member, Louise, passed away. Although the majority of her family are idol worshippers, they were amenable to honoring Louise's request for a Christian funeral. Since the church was organizing the ceremony, I was able to witness first-hand some of the preparations. I accompanied Hammer to the shop where he bought the casket. We also went to a place to buy some bricks so that the grave could be lined with them. I was at the house when Dela ordered -- and the seamstress delivered--the dress that Louise would be buried in. And, of course, I attended both days of ceremonies--the service in the evening and the morning funeral and burial. 

On that occasion I learned that the grave was lined with concrete bricks and concrete poured on top in order to prevent idol worshippers from stealing the head for their rituals. The horror of that thought, however, was offset the morning of the funeral when the burial party discovered that the hole was not big enough for the coffin. So they had to do some more digging before the body could be laid to rest. Then, the next day, when they went to check on the grave, the workers discovered that the concrete had caved in, so they had to re-do that. I confess I found the series of things going wrong a tad bit amusing, simply in the unexpectedness of them. I would never think of those possibilities in preparing a grave!

During this visit, a couple of Hammer's relatives have died, but the most closely related deaths occurred at the end of October--Dela's mother--and this week--Solange's sister.

Since Dela has three siblings living in Germany, they decided to delay the funeral until the end of this month, so that those family members could attend. In the meantime, she has made countless phone calls and texts and even a visit or two to Ghana to help plan and organize everything. They planned the program and got it printed, and they designed the cloth for the funeral clothes. Then, of course, Dela had to get her clothes made. I didn't notice at Louise's funeral, but in some families, the custom is to have matching clothes. At Hammer's Dad's funeral and this time, the material is a white and black print. She and her brothers and sisters decided to renovate and repair the house that their grandparents lived in so that they would have extra space for guests. Dela and Hammer have had several meetings with church members who want to go and organized transportation, sleeping arrangements, and meals for them. Her uncle has rented 20 mattresses for the church members. A lady in the congregation bought used sheets to put on those mattresses. In the house there are several cartons of bottled water, some buckets for bathing, toilet paper, etc. 

Dela left this past Tuesday to get things organized both in Accra, where their mother lived for many years, and in her hometown, but the preparations have continued. The pile of bottled water has grown. For the past few days a goat has been living in the compound, but I think she met her maker today. There were several women at the house cooking when I arrived to spend the afternoon. Everybody leaves early tomorrow morning. I'm not sure when they will return, but Dela will stay till the end of next week.

I know very little about the plans for Solange's sister. She has taken it very hard, as you might imagine. Solange is 24 and it was a younger sister who died. 

Hammer has asked a couple of times about the cost of funerals in the States, because he heard that they were very expensive. I explained that, indeed they can be, but part of that expense means that the family doesn't have to order the bricks and dig the grave. In my own case, my parents planned everything well in advance, so my siblings and I had little to do other than pick a date and time. I keep thinking I should pre-plan and pre-pay for my funeral to spare my kids the ordeal. Then I will occasionally realize that, if I don't, and they have to plan it all, I will have gone through life without having to plan a funeral at all. Then I think, that I leave it to them, they could just drag me to the landfill and toss me in. I don't want that to happen, so I need to get planning! (Just kidding about my offspring!)